1 year ago

It's been 1 year since Rena's accident (October 1) and death on the 9th. I didn't realize how tough the one year mark would be for me. Today I had a small breakdown. I just still don't understand!

I got this picture last week for the kids' bathroom. I used to sing this song at camp and I thought it was the perfect size and color for the bathroom. When I hung it Paula Grace asked me what it said so I sang the song to her and when I was done she said "Nanny used to sing that song to me. But now she doesn't because she's in heaven." I had no idea she sang that to her so I was amazed that her little mind remembered that. It breaks my heart all over again. Then tonight she insisted on singing it over and over at bedtime and told me she wants to ride on an airplane to see nanny. It's painful for me to miss Rena but this is a whole other pain. A pain that my little girl has that I can't take away.