After Rena had the accident and 8 days later left the physical world for the spiritual world, we were faced with a large obstacle which is trying to explain this to a nearly 3 year old. Paula Grace and her "Nanny" were the best of friends, and even recently dad and Rena had kept both our kids while Shane and I were out of town on two separate occasions. Rena was PG's world. So our sweet little innocent child was introduced to the harsh truths of this world we reside in all to early, in my opinion. While on the outside nothing seemed to change. We went on about our daily routine and we talked about Nanny and how we missed her and how she was in heaven now. But something changed. Almost immediately, within two weeks, our nights went from manageable to out-of-control. PG stopped going to sleep on her own and if we got her to sleep, she was waking all hours of the night and a state of panic and complete fear. She turned into a completely different child at bedtime and all through the night. She actually became self-destructive and threw herself into walls, off the bed, into her furniture. It was horrifying for a parent to watch. Shane and I battled this at its worst for about two weeks in November. I talked to friends and asked other mom's about it and most advice left me clueless. I couldn't let her do this to herself and our family desperately needed sleep. I knew in my spirit that something else was driving this other than purely separation anxiety. I knew that "crying it out" was not an option, though we have used that method before and are not against it. I think in all parenting situations it is important to trust your instincts. Shane and I agreed something else was driving this behavior. But what do I do? Go to my God.
So I immediately started praying scripture over PG all day long. Not just at bedtime but all during the day. I wouldn't say there was an immediate change, but I also know God's sovereignty and sometimes He works immediately, and sometimes He sends us on a journey through whatever it is we are dealing with for His glory. So I kept praying and kept speaking scripture over my child. I borrowed a book from a friend called "Spiritual House Cleaning" and while it may sound hokie to some, and I won't try to sell you on the book, I will say that it is scripturally based and completely changed my outlook on the things we hold onto and keep in our house (including the things we watch on TV). I am also becoming more fully aware of the effect the spiritual world has on our lives including our attitudes, behaviors, health, etc. I began to view this problem from a spiritual perspective rather than a purely behavioral problem, and Shane and I took steps to help her and comfort her while surrendering the "fight" to God.
Now, it is 3 months later. I handed the issue over to my God who is all knowing, all powerful, all sovereign and let Him deal with it. He took me on a journey through scripture that I am so blessed to have found. As an aside, during this time I started reading the bible daily (which I'm ashamed to say as a christian I was not faithful in doing prior to our church-led study), but I'm on track to finish it in 1 year completely. Coincidentally, or maybe not, reading through the plan with my church started the day of Rena's accident, October 1. And reading scripture daily has given me a new understanding of the old testament and the prophesies and the historical significance, but has also given me a thirst for reading more and more.
This journey not only has given me a thirst for His word like I've never had before, but it has given me a true understanding of just how true His word is. He is sovereign, and he does care. Even about my worry that my 3 year old is not fully rested and that her behavior at night brings chaos into our home. He cares for me because I am His. I was created to worship Him. He planned me before I was born. Tonight as I walk PG up to her bed she doesn't protest or throw a fit, she just gives hugs and kisses to her daddy, goes upstairs and we brush her teeth and we read books and I lay with her as she drifts off to sleep and think to myself just how beautiful and precious she is. And I thank God for taking us on this journey.
1 comment:
Thanks!
Post a Comment